One day we may get through a summer without a ‘Should Women Over 50 Wear A ʙικιɴι’ debate — but that time has not yet come.
If anything, this is the summer of reviving old questions we thought we’d dealt with years ago: namely, Should Women Over 50 Wear a String ʙικιɴι?
The 1990s Burberry check string ʙικιɴι is back, and the string ʙικιɴι (with bottoms that tie at the sides with fabric no more substantial than string, in case you need reminding) is having a revival on the catwalk and among women who wore them 30 years ago.
Davina McCall, 55, and Demi Moore, 60, have both recently been pictured wearing string ones, and the queen of ʙικιɴιs, Elizabeth Hurley, turned 58 last month and celebrated with — what else — a selfie of her on a beach in a bright blue string ʙικιɴι.
Hurley has her own swimwear company, so posing in the Caribbean shallows, arms aloft in an itsy bitsy ʙικιɴι is all part of the job.
Yet she could have celebrated her birthday in a standard ʙικιɴι with bottoms that had actual sides, or a Fifties-style ʙικιɴι with tummy ʙuттon-concealing pants — this summer’s other H๏τ beachwear style.
But instead, two years shy of her 60th, Liz chose a string ʙικιɴι. The starter ʙικιɴι. The junior miss of ʙικιɴιs.
The ʙικιɴι intended for coltish teenagers and young women who need zero support and virtually zero coverage and who, therefore, find two triangles loosely tied at the sides, and a top like a section of bunting, perfectly sufficient.
Of all the ʙικιɴιs this one says ‘youth’ more than any other, and yet women old enough to be grannies are wearing it for the second time around.
So, should you, would you, wear a string ʙικιɴι? And why would you not choose a lovely big-knickered two-piece instead?
First things first: you don’t have to be 20 to wear a string ʙικιɴι, though you need a flat stomach and not much in the way of flesh.
This is not about judging, it’s common sense. I gave up wearing string ʙικιɴιs the day I realised that unless I was fully stretched out, the ties were buried in my hip flesh.
String ʙικιɴιs are for the very slim, and, yes, you can be very slim at any age.
You may even look OK in one in your sixth decade. But you still might choose not to wear one because of something that happens to women post-50 (or earlier): The Feel Naked Feeling.
If you haven’t experienced this, it’s not unlike the sensation you get after a radical haircut, when all of a sudden you feel weirdly exposed and vulnerable.
The Feel Naked Feeling hits you out of the blue. One summer you’re happily slipping on a fairly small ʙικιɴι, the next you can’t stop tugging it up at the front, pulling it down at the back and reaching for a cover-up whenever you walk around.
Has your bum got bigger? No. You’ve got warier and more self-conscious.
It’s the same instinct that will prevent you from buying a pair of very low-rise jeans; you no longer want to show as much skin as you used to, and you feel safer, more comfortable and nicer-looking with a little bit more coverage.
Precisely how much coverage is the difference between successful midlife ʙικιɴι-wearing and not so successful at all.
The obvious option for ʙικιɴι wearers running from the Feel Naked Feeling is the big knicker ʙικιɴι (BKB).
You would have thought this was precisely the style a grown-up should graduate to — corseting bottoms with a more substantial bra to match.
BKB wearers argue that with your tummy tucked away and pulled in and your ʙικιɴι bottoms cutting off at the smallest part of your waist, this is the most flattering style. But I beg to differ.
From the back you’re all bottom in a BKB, and all hips and tummy from the front. To look your best you need the willowy silhouette of Rosie Huntington-Whiteley or Georgia May Jagger, who models the latest iteration of the Burberry string ʙικιɴι.
You also need skinny ribs. Even worse than the packed-in ‘solid bottom’ effect, is the gap between the BKB knickers and bra.
This draws the eye directly to that soft fleshy area under the ribs that’s liable to bulge and let you down.
If you have a lovely figure, you may feel like Marilyn Monroe in a big ʙικιɴι, but you might also just feel frumpy, for the same reason you would wearing a swimming costume with a little skirt.
The whole point of sticking with a ʙικιɴι, and not packing it away and finding yourself a one-piece, is because ʙικιɴιs make you feel youthful and free, not swaddled.